The backfire effect….

Have you ever received feedback or information that you couldn’t take in? Have you ignored evidence and dug your heels in when opposing a challenge? Sometimes messages interfere with your personal or political values making them hard to process.

Photo by Sushil Nash on UnSplash.

My Facebook, LinkedIn and personal conversations seem to be riddled with opposing and contradicting points of view. People seem to have closed their minds and want to argue, but why has this become so bad?

Let’s start with a brief video on the Amygdala Effect:

The Back Fire Effect

So, what can you do to turn off this amygdala response? It’s not easy to listen and the emotional messages that turn on this psychological shortcut aren’t easy to bypass.

Recently I shared a great blog post from the Oatmeal on the Backfire Effect to my LinkedIn and asked my network for tips. Here is what they had to say:

1. Before responding repeat what you heard the person say. For example, “So what you’re saying is that……” This gives you extra time to process and provides the messenger confirmation on what they said.
2. Count to 10. This may sound funny and a bit like you are back potty training a toddler but in your head count back from 10 and breathe. This allows the Adrenalin response to settle and your rational brain to catch up with your emotions.
3. Acknowledge your emotions without disagreeing with new facts. For example, let’s say someone told you they were disappointed in the quality of work you did on a project after you felt you put in 110% into the job. You can say, “This is hard for me to hear, I worked over the weekend and was passionate about getting everything done. I feel what you are saying doesn’t value the amount of work I put in here…” This approach gives space for your emotions but room to discuss the feedback further.

As a people manager, I have seen emotions taint conversations about performance and as a professional I have seen political perspectives disrupt working teams. In a world that is full of strain with the pandemic and a country that has political and racial injustice all over the news people are overwhelmed and feisty. Our nerves are on edge and dialogue whether online or live seems to lack a calm and rational mindset.

The backfire effect isn’t going anywhere and it is a real thing that I hope we can all relate to. But how do we pull ourselves back, take a minute collect our thoughts or reset a self-narrative in a hot minute when we are challenged by something? I don’t have a simple answer, but next time I am going to try to repeat what I heard, count to 10, and acknowledge my emotions.

Be good to each other, in a time of stress grace hard but always needed.

If you want to check out the lengthy backfire effect blog from The Oatmeal click here.